What can I say…This year (or, I guess last year) was a whirlwind! Well, at least half the year. To review, we received Lilah’s referral in July; spent two months preparing to travel to China; travelled to China in mid-Sept.- early Oct.; the holidays followed and here we are two days into the new year.
So much has changed in the last few months. Lilah’s true personality has definitely emerged. She can be summed up as a “take no prisoners” kind of gal. She is a smart, funny, fiesty thing who is in the throws of toddlerdom. She has her occasional meltdowns, but luckily they have decreased in both frequency and intensity. Lilah seems so engaged with the world around her. She is fascinated with how things work and loves to put them together and take them apart. Another engineer, perhaps? She has absorbed her new language like a sponge and I am always amazed at how much she really comprehends. She has produced a few words: milk, look, wow, no and can now make a kitty sound. She is babbling like crazy.
In early November, Brad and I received messages on Facebook from a woman in Spain whose family sponsored Lilah when she was in the orphanage and in foster care. They also sent her birthday and Christmas presents. They were able to e-mail us photos of Lilah in the early months after she was placed that we didn’t already have. Apparently, the family has adopted one daughter from China and are awaiting their second. Such incredible kindness. We have communicated via e-mail and we just sent them some updated photos of Lilah and our family. We really hope to stay connected with them.
I started back at work in mid-November and am working only 2 days right now. Brad works at home these days, so we are able to avoid day care for awhile. Lilah has adjusted to this change, although initially we had some sleepless nights following Monday evenings when I worked. We can only assume that it was somehow related. The holidays went well. We hosted Thanksgiving and had my family over: Nanna, aunt and uncle and cousins. She loved my nephews and really enjoyed all the craziness. Christmas was alot of fun! Lilah LOVED all of the decorations, especially the snowmen and Advent calendar. She would walk up to it every day (even after Christmas had passed), look up and use the only sign that she knows, which is for, “more”. We went to my sister’s house for X-Mas Eve and then came back that night to wake up in our own house on X-Mas D ay. Lilah was a little confused with all the hoopla, but had fun. Her favorite present seems to be her new doll stroller and Baby Stella doll. She loves to feed her every day and push her around the house. So cute!
A huge change we have seen in Lilah over the past 3 months is her ability to give and receive affection. She now gives us “real hugs” where her whole body melts into ours. It warms my heart every time. She also loves to give her stuffed animals hugs and kisses and always looks to us for affirmation.
Brad and I decided last week to do a trial run in the day care at the YMCA for a few minutes. Up to this point, we had never, together left her in someone else’s care. I couldn’t believe how emotional that was for me. She was just fine, but I was a basketcase! We decided to be even more adventurous on New Year’s Eve and actually went on a date sans kids!
My mom came over, we put Lilah to bed and then went to a movie. All went well and she slept the whole time! And, speaking of sleep, we are still having difficulty in this department. She has proven that she CAN sleep through the night( her record to date is a week). We have become optimistic, and have then been faced with 3 or 4 nights with multiple wake-ups. It seems to be a different dynamic now. In the early weeks and months, Lilah appeared genuinely frightened, sad and desperate in the middle of the night, but now that time has passed and she is showing deeper signs of attachment, I think it may be more an issue of testing boundaries and difficulty with self-soothing. This has, by far been the most challenging thing we have been faced with since Lilah’s arrival. I’m not sure if we will ever know if it is adoption related, personality/temperament,
developmental, or a combination of all three. We can take each day as it comes.
On the Quinn front, he is doing quite well and has become a fantastic big brother. Of course, he has his moments, like any brother or sister, where he gets worked up over her “touching his stuff”. Of course, this doesn’t go both ways, when he is playing with her new musical tea set! To sum up, he said to me in the car today, “Mom, I’m really glad that I’m not the only one anymore.” For all the struggles, it is all worth it in the end.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!
